So I wait the required 24 hours before soaking my toe in epsom salt. It's 4 cups (or 1 quart) of water to 1 tbsp of epsom salt for 10-15 minutes twice a day for 14 days.
Well I adjourn myself to the guest bathroom so I can soak in peace without Molly trying to roll towards me or Angus constantly asking "what's that mommy" or "whatcha doing mommy" and trying to touch the toe.
So I get everything ready. Turns out I need 8 cups (2 quarts) of water to actually ensure that the toe is covered properly so I also need 2 tbsp of epsom salt. Anyway, I get my crossword book and pen, a pair of scissors, sterile gauze, band aids, medical tape, a timer, and a towel.
I sit down and begin to extricate my toe from it's blue spongy tape and gauze prison. So it's going pretty well, just unraveling my happy ass away when I get to the end and come to a horrible realization....the gauze is stuck to the meat of my raw bloody toe. Well shit! I keep thinking to myself "just rip it off, it won't hurt as much if you rip it off", then I respond to myself...oh yes, I respond..."are you fucking crazy, if it's this tender and hurts this much it's not going to matter how fast or slow I pull it off....shut the fuck up and let me work". I know, I know, I have issues.
So I begin to slowly pry the gauze from my poor abused toe, clenching my teeth as my eyes begin to water and for some odd reason, my mouth begins to water. Maybe it was the smell of the turkey burgers Rob was cooking, I don't know, I don't want to know.
So I immerse my poor toe into the epsom salty water and HOLY SHIT....it hurts and it starts bleeding a bit. WTF??? I thought this wasn't supposed to hurt either. You know, after yesterday you'd think I'd learn and just assume that they're completely full of shit, but no, dumbass blindly sticks her stinkin toe in the water. It's only staying in 10 minutes cause if I have to do that extra five minutes, I'm going to hurt someone.
I finally take my poor toe out of the concoction after 10 minutes, dry my foot off and put bacitracin, 1/2 a piece of gauze, and a band-aid on it then wrap it up with the medical tape.
It just feels so naked and vulnerable now.
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2 comments:
ow ow ow ow!
My eyes started to water just reading that. I'm so sorry. That kind of pain just isn't cool.
Funny, you'd think that after childbirth and tattoos we'd be able to handle pretty much anything... ugh... not so much.
ugh....terrible...
my mouth waters everytime I scrub my toliet...I don't even want to know what that's about.
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